The heaviness in my belly

I woke up today with a feeling of heaviness in my belly. Could it be the cheap Chinese food we ate late night. It's amazing that you can get Chinese dinner for two for $15. It's tasty but it didn't sit well with me. I feel so sad lately. It's really not because we are having financial challenges. I have just been feeling the pain of the world. Our challenges are just a tear drop in the ocean. I listened to a narration of Chief Seattle's speech from 1854 http://www.halcyon.com/arborhts/chiefsea.html, narrated by a Native American, Wes Felty. It made me cry, again. Chief Seattle was a seer and could obviously look into the future of our world. He was right, we have not honored the waters, the buffalo or our Mother Earth. It makes me want to scream with anger, shame and frustration. Yes, I know I have co-created this and what do we do.

Joe had two calls from credit card companies. He stunned the woman on the other end of the phone when he told her he can't talk right now cause he is having heart problems. What a job they have, calling people to pay their credit cards. I don't know how they deal with it. Joe is so kind when he speaks to them and always asks, "How's your day going?" Sometimes after he tells his story they will actually be compassionate and say, "You can't believe the stories I hear."

I happened to turn on The Today Show this morning. Sometimes I refer to the TV as the oracle, as it can be an inspiration to me at the perfect time. i tuned in to see a segment called "Your Life Calling" by Jane Pauley, http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/39210469#39210469. The piece was on a woman Catherine Zimmerman, who reinvented herself at 50 by going back to school to learn sustainable gardening. She then created and self published a book, Urban and Suburban Meadows, http://www.amazon.com/Urban-Suburban-Meadows-Bringing-Meadowscaping/dp/0984456007. I suppose that I identify with her as she is my age now and may be losing her home. She is fearless and we need to put her in our fearless women tribe. I encourage everyone to buy her book. She like me, has created a movement, "The Meadow Movement."

I am forging through my day...my life, finding the inspiration that is around me. Heavy belly and all, I know I have a calling to fulfill. So I go through the tears, go back to bed sometimes because I just can't seem to find the energy to fight the good fight. Ultimately I come back to my grateful heart.
I am blessed...I am grateful.